IT’S NOT ALL PEACHY
So, your man is home. Not quite what you hoped for this time either?
As FIFO women we spend so much time thinking and worrying about the ‘on stint’, when your man is away and you’re left to hold the fort.
It’s a hard slog, you have to pull out all your strength from deep within to not only get through all the household chores, but to also remain in an emotionally stable state that fosters healthy parenting.
It’s hard work, and not a lot of fun.
We know this.
What often isn’t talked about as much is the time when he’s home. The ‘off stint’ comes with its set of challenges too, but because we have so much more support and freedom when he’s home, it’s almost as if it isn’t justified to experience struggles during this time too.
The fact is, you’ve worked hard to create a stable and solid routine when he’s away, and now that there suddenly is an added energy in the house, it can be really hard to maintain this state. It probably takes a few days before the feeling sets in, much the same as when he leaves, but at one time during his time home everything seems to fall apart. The disagreeing begins, the state of equilibrium vanishes and you’re lost wondering what is happening. You should be feeling great, after all he’s home to help and love you. Right?!
The thing is, this is an entirely normal roller-coaster to go through. As much as you need to adjust when he leaves, you also need to adjust when he returns. The routine is amended, you relax because you can, and all of sudden things fall apart anyway, because he doesn’t run the same tight ship that you have had to, he isn’t on top of what groceries we need this week, and it’s been a while since he had to do laundry. And the pedestal view you created of him while he was gone, doesn’t quite reflect reality.
But let me assure you, this doesn’t have to be the way forward. Simple little tools can help you reconnect with your man, allow reality to reflect expectations, and get you back on track to love and calmness quickly.
Contact me to find out more, and how to make the transition between on and off stints easier to manage.