10 Jun 2017

Some days things just work out… do you remember those days? Have you had one recently? Or has it been a while?

Well today, I suddenly had to stop and take stock, because there were my kids, creating their own game, announcing to me how from now on they’re going to do what the other sibling says, help each other with the Lego each day, and even help me. They had been building a Lego city for about an hour, and were helping each other redecorate Naya’s bedroom. And no, there wasn’t Lego spread all over the floor, and I didn’t have to come and rescue bits from falling over in Naya’s room, everything was tidy and in order.

And it made me wonder… how come today of all days they’re being so nice to each other? Is it because they got to go out with my girlfriend earlier and had a great experience? Possibly… but more likely it is nothing to do with them, and everything to do with me!!

Earlier today I posted on Instagram how I got to have some me time, and I struggled working out how to make the most of it. In the end, I went to the beach, all by myself, with one little bag with just my belongings, and I relaxed. Didn’t have to worry about anyone drowning or getting hungry. I got to finish my book that I started a couple of months ago – highly recommend this one by the way, Rebecca Campbell ‘Rise Sister Rise’ – and it was just bliss.


Well, as I was standing there observing and listening to the kids, I realised that my tone with them both was different. I was tapping into my compassion and empathy, as well as excitement and pride in everything they were doing.

The kids were tired after having had a busy physical morning, and as I’d let them watch TV in the afternoon, chances were that they were going to have a couple of meltdowns – screen time tends to lead to that – but because I was in such a good place, I was able to catch them and guide them every time they were about to fall into those reactions to how they were feeling.

What an incredible win!!

Now I know that going to the beach for a couple of hours of RnR isn’t viable on a regular basis. Unless you’re blessed with a person on schedule looking after your kids, while you schedule me-time, it’s probably not all that likely to occur – or you wouldn’t be here reading this, right?!

So how do we create that feeling of surplus and empathy when we can’t get away?

Well honey, you have to take your time! You have to make every minute that is handed to you count, and do what really fills you up! And I hate to break it to you, but often that isn’t Netflix or Facebook, but something that touches your soul just a little bit more, and lets you get back in touch with yourself and your joys.

So the first step is to work out what those things are. Make a list of the things that bring you joy, it doesn’t have to take long, plan for five minutes, you will probably find that once you get into it, it is hard to stop. And you can take it to any level you wish, as much granularity as what makes your heart sing.

I’ll start – two simple things that makes me feel joy is watching Caleb play with the kids, and the sound and smell of summer rain… and waves… and sun… and the cat purring… and a great read…

See, it’s hard to stop once you get the joy train going.

Over to you, and please comment below with your favourites from you list! I would love to hear what brings you joy!