Relationships are hard!
Fifo relationships can be even harder if you don’t have ground rules in place.
So often I hear my clients tell me they feel like they’re loosing the connection with their other half, they don’t talk and laugh together like they used to and they feel like he doesn’t really care anymore.
There can be several reasons for this.
The most significant that I always come back to are to do with firstly the fact that many men who work away find they have to shut down their emotional being in order simply to cope with being away from their loved ones. If they were forever concerned with what is going on at home, they could end up being a safety risk while on shift.
Another and just as significant, is that we as women tend to run a pretty tight ship when our men are away. Especially if kids are involved. Routines are essential if everything is to run smoothly for us. And it can be pretty darn difficult to stop that train when our men are back.
So what can you do to address these potential issues?
Firstly, connect with your man’s emotional body when he returns. Give him lots of genuine praise for the things he provides for you, touch him – especially around his heart area, and spend time looking into his eyes without talking – he will probably think this is weird, but stick with it, eventually he will open up to you if you give him space to do so.
Secondly, let him take (some) charge when he returns. He’s a capable man, even if he doesn’t fold the laundry exactly how you would want him to.
Without playing into 1950’s gender-roles, let him feel like the man, highlight areas where you need him (for me that’s to do with anything finance or insurance talk as well as the heavy lifting), and allow him to protect and hold you without you being the damsel in distress. Nothing will be more enticing to him than a strong woman in need of him.
Let me know how you go!!
And let me know if you want more specific help with issues like these.