So often we make do with what we’re given.
We put our ‘brave face’ mask on and seize the day as it comes at us, and then collapse at night, exhausted from the efforts getting through the day has required.
We face the challenges of dealing with colleagues, school parents, town gossip etc. that all takes a toll on our emotional well-being.
We’re asked to help with something that we really don’t feel like doing, but we still say yes because that’s easier than facing the consequence of letting others down or telling our colleague that you simply haven’t got the capacity to do what they’re asking of you.
However, the result is that you aren’t acting in alignment with your authentic self, you’re not showing yourself the love and respect you deserve, and the consequences of that are at best that you end up with some level of stress, at worst that you become physically ill. Research points to definite links between our emotional well-being and our physical health.
Lately I have been learning about living authentically, how to show up as my authentic self, and in that process how other’s response to you changes.
It has been weeks and weeks of course work, embodiment, feeling raw and vulnerable, and it has been an incredible ride of expansion and contraction.
The course sessions have been about disciplines that come before the ability to incorporate this way of life into my existence. All the steps to realise when I’m not being true to myself, not setting healthy boundaries, not loving myself unconditionally, and it is now starting to come together. I have found myself having a day I was dreaming of not that long ago.
It hit home when I caught myself sitting on our lounge, the kids were both engrossed in a self-created art project, and Caleb was at the stove, dancing to the music I’d put on that he actually enjoyed listening to – let me tell you, enjoying the same music is a huge feat for us, let alone him getting his groove on to something I chose!
Caleb and Naya had taken it upon themselves to organise and cook dinner, we spent the whole day at home playing with Lego, Caleb caught a 10-minute nap on the lounge, I read a book to the kids while having an entire cup of tea, and the whole day was slow and relaxed, and I felt so grounded and connected to my family.
For years I have dreamed about spending weekends like this. All of us in the house, no agenda, PJs could have been suitable, each meal and snack occurs impulsively. So often Caleb prefers to get moving, tick items of the to-do list and achieve things. He feels if he doesn’t that the day is wasted.
Showing my family exactly what I want and don’t want, from a place of compassion for their needs, no doubt and insecurity on my part, and with an open mind and heart to be persuaded otherwise or simply out-voted has made all the difference lately.
It has brought Caleb and I closer together, the kids are more willing to listen and follow the house rules, and most important of all is that I know I can trust myself to make the right choice at any given time. With all of that comes a sense of peace and calm that I am lapping up like hungry kitten!
Of course there is always more to do as with any self-discovery, more work to do and more things to learn, more theories and practices to embody, but for now I am celebrating a huge win.
If you would like to learn more about the methods and practices behind my authentic living, please get in touch and ask whatever you may be pondering – or simply write a comment below.
Here’s to a world full of authentic and open folks!